i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
