Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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