Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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