I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
