Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
