i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
