I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize