He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize