He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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