hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize