There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize