my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
