And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
