so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
