Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
