I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
