I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
