He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i believe in u and ur pee
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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