The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
