as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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