a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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