He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
