He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
