I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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