We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
