This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
