I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
