So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
