I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
