it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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