He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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