I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
pray to the hookup gods
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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