i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
