hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
