have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
