are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize