The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize