just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
