Your dad touched me again.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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