And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
