I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I want to be your penis for a week.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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