You're my little dorito
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
