made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
