I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
