You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
