remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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