If i come over, it means nothing
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
