It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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