Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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