Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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