who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
