this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
