I wish I could punch you in the face.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
