Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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