Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dick very happy bro
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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