Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
