how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
