So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
