mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
