she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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