I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
