Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
